When Your Best is Still Not Good Enough

The Test

We can probably relate to this either through our own life experiences or through someone else. For example, do you remember the time when you studied and prepared for an exam or test for weeks or maybe even months in advance? On the day of the test you felt confident and prepared. But, when the test came back, the grade was not what you expected. In fact, you felt like you might have done better if you hadn’t studied at all!

Waiting to see if we passed or failed

And what about that recent job interview? The one that you have been called in for the second, third, or fourth round. You know you have to be shoe-in for the job, right? Why else would they keep asking you to come back so many times?

Surprise! Two weeks go by and you have to call them to find out why you haven’t heard anything. And by the way, they tell you that the company decided to go with another candidate. However, you were impressive though and it was a tough decision to make, but they opted for the other candidate. Sound familiar?
What do you do when your best is still not good enough?
Well, let me start off by saying that here is what you DON’T DO…

Step I

Beat up on yourself – this is the time to be more confident than ever. Hmmm…regarding that not so great grade on your test. Hey, perhaps you studied long and hard, but you didn’t study strategically. Maybe, the next time you will study with a group. Learn from other people’s strategies. You know the expression: Two heads are better than one.

If there is something that you didn’t quite understand, check with the professor or teacher. Do you have clear notes? –-Meaning although you wrote them, do they make sense to you?

Check to see if there are previous tests that you can look at so that you can get a feel of what to expect when you take the test. Sometimes we can “over” study. The questions maybe a lot easier than you think. Try to simplify your studying. Break it up into bite size pieces and chew on the information very slowly.

Step II

Start focusing on everything that you might have done wrong in the interview. Do Not — I repeat– Do Not sabotage yourself. Focus on the positive and what got you to the final rounds of interviews in the first place. It was your personality, your thoughtful answers, and what you could bring to the organization.

Take those same positive attributes and keep on networking. Yes, for some, it’s difficult to pick yourself up and start over again. But, nothing great is easily won. Decide if you are a winner or a loser. If you are a winner, decide on the best way to gain the advantage so you can win the next round of interviews and get that job!
Something else to consider
Also, perhaps you are going after the wrong type of job. Sometimes we go after things because we feel like we really need a job even though it may not be the best fit. Consider yourself fortunate if you didn’t get the job that you really didn’t want anyway. A bad fit will have you leaving the job soon (or getting fired) and you will be back out there looking again.

So, just take out the time to figure out what it is that you really want. Sometimes opportunities are right in front of us, but we are so busy chasing moving targets that we miss them. Of course, if you consider yourself a loser…well, you will do nothing and remain in the same situation until you decide that you are tired of it. Let’s hope that‘s NOT the case, though.

WOYN TIP: When your best is still not good enough, ask yourself this: Is your best good enough for you? If your answer is yes, you are on the right track. Believe in your abilities and don’t get caught up in what is your best is for someone else. In the end, you have to be the best for you. But, on the other hand, if your answer is no — ask yourself what it will take to turn that no into a yes. Search within yourself and find out what “good enough” looks like for you and start working toward it.

Hang On to Your Oxygen!

LIFE.  As grown ups, if we knew what we know now when we were between the ages of  18  and 19, imagine all of the over whelming stress that could have been avoided in the never ending journey we call LIFE.

If you have children this age, or have been one to give advice to a budding adult, you probably have tried countless of  times to tell them how to  avoid the pitfalls that you have already experienced.  If they listened, you are to be commended for accomplishing a feat that many parents, mentors and advisors still struggle to figure out.  But if I could offer one piece advice for them it would be:  Take Care of Yourself!

With all of the pressures that young people have these days, it’s a wonder that they take time to reflect upon the number one thing that needs to remain a priority throughout their left time.  As adults we also need to take heed to understanding that our number one priority needs to be to take care of ourselves.  If we don’t do this, what good are we to anyone else?

If you’ve ever been on an airplane, you know the first rule of thumb: When a plane loses oxgen and the masks fall out of the ceiling, you must grab the oxgen mask and put it on yourself first! Once you do this, you can help the others around you. If you lose your oxygen, you can’t help anyone else with theirs, can you?

Have you ever lost your oxygen? How did it make you feel? Where you deflated, weakened and experienced an overwhelming loss of will power?

If you want to stay well, you have to make a decision to do so. According to Oprah, “Being well is a decision. Living well is bonus.” I’d have to agree.  We have to see ourselves staying well, not only in our physical being, but in our minds and spirits as well . Wellness comes from the inside out.  If your mind and spirit is disconnected, it cannot connect with your body. Everything works together holistically as one.

Figure out what will make you whole. What will make you breathe? It’s important to know what will nourish your soul, body, and spirit.  In the end you don’t want to deplete your oxygen. Life is meant to be lived. You want to breathe easily and flourish.   Remember, you’ve got grab your oxygen mask first! So do it!





Expecting Something For Nothing?

How many times have you wanted something but didn’t want to do what it took to get the results? Let’s think about that question a little deeper.  Many of us want to lose weight, but are not willing to do what is necessary.  Personally, I don’t like to excercise. But, what I do like is the energized feeling I get after I decide to work out. Although, I’m fortunate to have been able to maintain the same size and weight for over a decade, I’m not proud of the fact that my goal has been to lose 10 poounds for the past 10 years and I’ve never accomplished it.   I  WANT to lose the weight.  I WANT to be thinner, but what I’m missing is  putting forth the effort that it will take for me to really lose the 10 pounds.   That effort would mean cutting back on the things I love to eat.  It would mean intensifying my  workout (which as I mentioned earlier I already don’t enjoy doing).  But, I ask myself when I see other women my age who are fit, why don’t I look like that? Then when I talk to them about what they do to stay in shape, I understand that my commitment level is not there yet and that it up to me to do make the decision to do the  work and stay consistent and committed if this is what I truly want to do.

It works the same way in just about everything we want to achieve in life.  Think about it.  What do you want your end game to be in your personal and professional life?  Are you doing what it takes to get ahead or are you satisfied with doing just enough to get by and wondering why other people are moving forward and you are staying in the same place?

Are you taking classes, reading books, attending networking sessions or talking to people that can help you move forward with your professional edeavors? Or are you living each day without a plan?  What’s going on with your personal life? Are you taking care of yourself and those who may depend on you? Do you have a life plan on where you want to be in the next 5, 10 or even 15 years?  Or do you keep making promises that  next year will be different, and then find yourself doing the same thing you did the year before that kept you right where you said you didn’t want to be?

If you want your life to be different, you have to do something about it.  In the words of Ghandi, “You must be the change you want to see in the world.”  It is up to us. All we have to do is decide what we want and figure out a way to make it happen. If you decide to do nothing then  remember this: “Don’t be upset by the results you didn’t  get with the work that you didn’t do!”- author unknown

For me, I see me making a change by  putting back that extra helping of potato salad and increasing my cardio for another 15 minutes.   I can see that 10 pound weight loss getting closer and closer.  What about you?

Expect The Good In 2015

It’s the New Year and many of us have made resolutions for the umpteenth time. Some of us will keep our resolutions and some of us won’t. This year I didn’t make any resolutions. But, I did decide to live by these three words: Expect The Good.

I will focus this year on the positive and not the negative. When things do not go the way “I” plan, I will know there is a greater plan that is being laid out for me. I will Expect The Good.

I will not take things so personally when someone shows me a lack of consideration. I will acknowledge that it is not always about me and everyone is entitled to have a bad day. I will Expect the Good.

I will take the word “can’t” out of my vocabulary and focus on what I “can” do instead of what I can’t do. I will Expect the Good.

And finally, I am going into the New Year with high anticipation. I anticipate having an abundance of faithfulness, love, wisdom, health, prosperity and success. In other words, I Expect The Good.

WOYN TIP: Go into the New Year with an expectation of having good things happen to you. It’s all about your mindset. Choose good and expect it to happen!