Patience Without Judgement

As I sat in the hospital lobby, I looked around and noticed that there were some people who were sleeping, some were working on their computer while others were talking on their phone. There was also a woman who was incessantly talking to her adult son while showing him pictures on her cell phone (which he clearly could have cared less about).

Even though everyone was doing a different activity, there was one thing we shared in common. Patience. No matter how long it took for us to wait on the patient we were there to see, we were all in accord with doing whatever we needed to do to bide our time, wait on our person, and remain patient.

How many times have you ever been out of sync with others who had the same cause but went about doing activities that were different from yours? Did they go about the project differently by doing something that you may not have been in agreement with, but in the end they got the job done? Were you patient during the process or were you a disruptor who always had an objection and always wanted things done your way?

We have all experienced the thinking that our way is the better way. When I was at the hospital that day waiting in the lobby, I was thinking that I would never stretch out on a couch and take up all the space so that I could sleep.  I would never have been on the phone to the point where everyone in the waiting room could hear my conversation, nor would I continue to talk about pictures on my phone to one of my kids who had no interest. But, here lies the difference between what I do as compared to what others do.

What I do to remain calm, serene and keep busy is right for me. I choose to be quiet.  I might watch the TV that is playing in the room.  If I need to make a call, I will step outside. I don’t want to disturb others nor allow them to be privy to my phone conversation. I will work on my computer, but I will not take up several outlets to charge up all my electronic devices as I’ve seen others do. I am thoughtful, or at least I think I am. Even though I don’t necessarily agree with other peoples methods of how they spend their time in a hospital, I understand that in the end, we are all there for the same goal.

So, think about this: The next time,  you feel yourself becoming quick to judge before having all of the facts, consider doing like I did in that hospital lobby. Sit. Wait. Observe and be patient. Let the person go through the process the same way you are assessing the situation in your head.

Remember, patience is an art.  We may not all be Picasso’s but we all have the skills to start practicing the art of patience without being quick to judge.

Perfecting the Imposter

I love watching videos on social media. The problem is that when I watch them I always say I’m going to only watch one and then I end up getting pulled into another one. The next thing I know 30 minutes have elapsed and I have watched not one — but 10 videos!

One of the things that I love about watching videos is that people will do so many random things. I’ve seen it all from people bungy jumping through a forest to skateboarding across a fleet of cars to bike racing barely clothed.

But as freeing as some people may be, I have yet to master the art of feeling free in front of a camera. I am one of those women who have not yet elevated herself to the “make-up free” zone. Nor have I moved up to the Beyonce version of “I woke up like this” and been confident that MY “wake-up” look is something that I want to share on video (or that the rest of the world is interested in) .

Nope, I’m not there yet. I’m still that person who wants to portray the image that I’m most comfortable with. So, if it’s a bad hair day, a puffy eye day or a day where I’m just not feeling or looking like my best self, I stay away from being in front of the camera.

I know there are women who really have a problem with my thought process. They say that society has made women feel that they have to have the perfect body and the perfect skin in order to project the perfect image. Do I think I might be a victim who has fallen prey to the societal pressures that have been placed on women? I suppose it could be possible that some of that pressure has trickled down to me over the years. However, the trickle I’ve experienced has not impacted me to the point where I totally obsess over my physical appearance in an unhealthy or self-indulgent way. That would be very scary .

As women become older our skin changes along with our bodies. Wrinkles seem to creep up unexpectedly. Some of us experience weight gain in places we never thought were possible 20 years ago. But, here we are living life with all of the challenges, changes, complications and new beginnings that it brings.

Am I completely comfortable with ALL of the new changes that have come with aging? I’d be lying if I said yes. I’ve been told that I should feel comfortable in my own skin. And I do (for the most part). However, there’s a part of me that still wishes that I could eat at midnight and not worry about the excess weight gain. I also wish that my body could remember how it used to allow me to function on less sleep. Now, 6.5 hours is my minimum — any less than that and I’m a complete zombie who needs a nap by 10:00 a.m. And when it comes to alcohol, let’s just say that I’m one-glass-gal. Any more than one glass of wine and it’s nighty night, don’t let the bed bugs bite!

Here’s what else I know. I don’t feel comfortable in trying to be someone who I’m not. Admiring other women’s looks, style and personality is one thing but, copying their brand is an entirely different path that I have no desire to travel down. I like looking and feeling my best. I like the expectations that I have set for myself. Yes, sometimes my expectations are a little lofty but I’ve always aimed high even when goals were inconceivable to others. Some may have called me conceited. Others may have another name that I won’t write in this blog. But, I call it MY standard. I call it MY truth. And I’m proud of who I am (even on a bad hair day).

I think that it’s important for us as women to choose our own definition of authenticity — and not others definition. My authentic self is being comfortable with what makes me, ME. I’m comfortable without wearing make-up ( I really do leave the house without it on many occasions). I’m even comfortable with having a bad hair day ( I will have a cap on though). There are also days when I’m okay that I’m not looking like my best self. It’s all good. Really. But, my mind will not be changed by peer pressure. I will still stay in my own comfort zone and still keep my distance (within reason)  from being in front of the camera!

Time’s Up!

If you haven’t seen the hashtags that flooded social media and the news headlines surrounding Oprah’s rousing speech she gave at the Golden Globe Awards in January, then you may really need to take more time to Work on Your Now! Not only is  NOW  the time for women in 2018 but also in 2020!  The country is still buzzing about the possibility of history being made again for another viable woman candidate to run for President of the United States (according to the media anyway).

This blog article is not based on politics, However, the topic is one you should keep at top of mind because in 2018 Oprah is reminding women of all races, ages, creeds, and cultures that we have to speak our truth.  If you think about, Oprah’s truth is why so many women love her.  She has always been transparent about her upbringing, her rising and falling during her career and in her personal life.

She speaks from the heart when she instills in us that as women it’s time to celebrate our stories so that we can share them. We should place ourselves in a position to grow and benefit from each other’s experiences.

It doesn’t matter if you are an academic, an assembly line worker, a doctor, a lawyer, a physicist, a salesperson, a consultant, an entrepreneur, a soldier or a farmworker.    If you are a woman then your time is NOW. You must believe in your abilities to do things that you have always wanted to do but were afraid.  Know that you are not the only one who has experienced failure, fear or hard times.  The important thing is that women must believe that they are resilient.  We are survivors and we have to stand as one to support one another.

If you have ever had any doubts because someone has told you that you couldn’t do something, or you feared that you would have backlash or severe repercussions if you spoke out, this message is for you. Call yourself out if you fall into any of these categories. Because guess what?

  • Excuse makers, Time’s Up!
  • Procrastinators, Time’s Up!
  • Naysayers, Time’s Up!
  • Underachievers, Time’s Up!
  • ____________  (YOU fill in the blank), Time’s Up!

 

 

 

 

Guest Appearance on The Dana Barrett Show

I recently got a chance to sit down with Dana Barrett of the Dana Barrett Show on 1190 AM. We spent some time talking about the Five Focus Areas and how to prioritize those areas where we think we need to improve on and at the same time staying focused on one area at a time. We had a Great Time and I look forward to returning again!

Uncover Your Now!

Are you someone who likes to be in control? What happens when your plans don’t go the way you want them to? Remember, you cannot control the outcome of everything. But, you can remain flexible.

Believe it or not, sometimes things are not as difficult as they may appear. If you take a step back and evaluate where you are and where you are trying to go, you may find that the answers that you have searching for are right in front of you!

Answer the questions below and see if you have possibilities that you may not have uncovered yet.

  1. Am I making the most out of my opportunities, or taking them for granted that they will always be there?
  2. Do I think I have had or I am having an experience that can lead to an opportunity?
  3. Do I recognize an opportunity when I see one, and can the opportunity lead me to my purpose?

More Ways to Uncover…

Enlist Help  – Get some assistance to help you stay accountable to make sure you stay on task. Yes, you can do whatever you set your mind to do. But, the task can be a whole lot smoother and easier when you have someone else to help and encourage you.

Be Flexible – Change is inevitable.  We may not always like it, but we must learn to embrace it. Understand that flexibility is the key to having a  successful plan.

Walk the Talk – Saying one thing and doing something else is counterproductive.  You may think it sounds impressive when you constantly talk about what you want. But, when others realize that you’ve been saying the same thing for years and have not progressed toward action, you lose creditability.

In 2018 practice what you preach.  Don’t just walk to walk. Get direction and map out where you’re going.  Don’t just talk the talk.  Listen. Learn. Speak up and speak out with intention. Lastly, put your action in front of it!

Now is definitely your time to start Working On Your Now!


 

Plan Your Now!

Is 2018 the time for you to reassess and make positive moves toward Working on Your Now?  If your plans have ever been placed on hold due to a setback you’ve experienced, goal planning can become very challenging.  When this happens, you have to strengthen your peace of mind until your plan comes to fruition.  It’s important to:

  1. Not give up! Giving up is so easy.  If you need to postpone your goal for a while, it’s okay. Just have a plan that is doable so you can stay on course to get back to it.
  2. Learn how to substitute disappointments with a constructive activity that you enjoy.   (exercise, reading or listening to music, etc.) Just make sure it’s something that will help you feel better– not worse.
  3. Strike a balance to incorporate more realistic expectations. Sometimes our plans may not evolve as quickly as we want them to because of unrealistic expectations that we set for ourselves.  Take your journey one day at a time. If you rush into it, you may miss important steps.t’s

So, what are you waiting for? It’s time to start Planning Your Now!

Work on Your Now in 2018!

Trust, Grow and Let Go, is Working on Your Now’s Mantra for 2018!  I wish I could take credit for putting these words together, but I can’t!  But, I do believe that when we allow ourselves to be still and open to possibilities, the direction that we’ve been seeking will eventually come!

Everyone needs words of encouragement.  Often, we know what we need to do to progress, but we resist.  However, when we hear it from someone else, it resonates and then we take action!  So that’s what I want you to do in 2018.  Trust in yourself, Grow with the life lessons you’ve encountered, and Let Go of any fear that may be preventing you from Working on Your Now in 2018.

Happy New Year!

 

Are you are off the grid?

Are you feeling like you know you should be somewhere else, yet you stay right where you are?  You feel stuck but you aren’t quite sure how to move forward? Whether it’s a relationship, a job or even exercise, getting stuck happens to the best of us. But, while getting stuck might be inevitable, staying stuck isn’t.  
Here are some helpful tips for getting unstuck and getting you back on the grid!

1) Find out what is the root that is causing you to feel being stuck? This may not be as easy for some as others. You may need to take an honest look at yourself and your situation and really assess how you got where you are in the first place and what has caused this feeling.

2) Once you figure out that first step, you can begin to think about what you want and what the steps are that you will need to take in order to get you to where you are trying to go. If you are stuck in your job, think about what other resources you can use to help you change jobs or improve the job you are in. Sometimes, when we see opportunities, we don’t take advantage of them. If you know that there is something else that you’d like to inquire about or get more information on, don’t get paralyzed in fear or in the mode of stopping yourself from trying because you are concerned about the possibility of rejection.

3) Lose the feeling that you have to do everything yourself. Connect with someone you trust and who won’t judge you. Seek out a friend, colleague, co-worker, family member or an accountability partner who you feel comfortable with in bouncing ideas off on and getting another perspective on the direction you want to go in. Sometimes, just getting another person’s take on a situation can open possibilities or help move us in directions that we never thought of.

4) Start a plan to incorporate things of more that you enjoy doing. Often, taking time out for yourself gives you a different perspective and allows you to think clearly. Take time for a “Me Day.” Whatever that entails, you need to spend the time on really taking stock of what you think you want. Or, try just doing something that you enjoy and then come back to thinking about how you will develop the plan to get “unstuck” later.

5) Get involved with a networking or business group where like-minded women come together for positive and uplifting discussions to help one another. Connect with the ones you feel that you have the most in common with and be open-minded to gain new perspectives and introspection.

Feeling stuck can be a sign that you need a change. You may need a short-term change or a long-term one. As you go through the steps of figuring out what you need to change, try not to become frustrated. Embrace your feelings that it’s time for something different. More importantly, take the time to figure out what that “something different” looks like to you.

Not my circus, Not my monkeys!

It’s okay to know what you DON’T WANT. However, it’s also important to intentionally shift your thinking to what you DO WANT because believe it or not, the thoughts and words that we choose to express ourselves will gradually shape the core of our identity and destiny.

This can be very powerful when you think about how negative words can hurt you, but positive words never will.   Your words may not be the cause all of your problems, but they can cause a lot of them and they should be given a good deal of consideration when we are looking for answers to the problems we encounter in life.

Today, really think about challenging yourself. Every time you want to say or think something negative, try replacing those thoughts and words with positive alternatives.  Sometimes we find ourselves in situations that we truly don’t want to be in and we wonder what we did to get ourselves into that predicament.  Often times,  we know the end result will not be a positive one even before the situation plays out.  But, we get engaged anyway and end up kicking ourselves later for when everything inside of us is telling us to move in the opposite direction.

So, this brings me to how I came up with the title of this blog. The title is a Polish Proverb.  Think about this: The next time you feel yourself being pulled into other people’s drama that may  include being a part of  negative relationships, unflattering conversations or anything that is not of good will for you personally, I want you to repeat these words: “Not my circus, not my monkeys.”  It may sound a little crazy (and even bring you a giggle or two) but the goal is for you to make the mind shift you need when you know you need to go in a new direction but are not quite sure how.   Repeat, repeat, repeat!  “Not my circus, not my monkeys!”  Now, go forth and be the woman you were created to be!

Is your plan failing you, or are you failing it?

It is a simple question. Many of us are guilty of making a plan and not being able to carry it through.  We make another plan and then another and then…well you get the picture. The same thing happens over and over again. NOTHING. Why ? Because many times we are a part of the reason why our plan fails.

Some may have a hard time believing that they may be the culprit of their own failure.  But, if you’re someone who typically dismisses your past mistakes and have not learned from them, your failed plans will probably continue. Failed plans can start with having unrealistic expectations to not having built enough time into the plan. It can also be not knowing when the right time is to move forward with the plan or to table it for another time.  Some plans end up not working because they are out of our control. Other times they fail because there is no contingency plan or follow-up plan in place.  Whatever the problem is,  a failed plan can create a lot of undue stress, time consumption, and feeling of being out of control.

Wouldn’t it be great to make a plan and actually have it do everything that we wanted it to?  Believe it or not, learning how to get rid of time wasters and taking control over things that will allow us to create a sane and enriching life is achievable with the right planning.

Join in on the free webinar on May 25.   Is Your Plan Failing You or Are You Failing it?  Visit www.workingonyournow.com  for more information. `