Patience Without Judgement

As I sat in the hospital lobby, I looked around and noticed that there were some people who were sleeping, some were working on their computer while others were talking on their phone. There was also a woman who was incessantly talking to her adult son while showing him pictures on her cell phone (which he clearly could have cared less about).

Even though everyone was doing a different activity, there was one thing we shared in common. Patience. No matter how long it took for us to wait on the patient we were there to see, we were all in accord with doing whatever we needed to do to bide our time, wait on our person, and remain patient.

How many times have you ever been out of sync with others who had the same cause but went about doing activities that were different from yours? Did they go about the project differently by doing something that you may not have been in agreement with, but in the end they got the job done? Were you patient during the process or were you a disruptor who always had an objection and always wanted things done your way?

We have all experienced the thinking that our way is the better way. When I was at the hospital that day waiting in the lobby, I was thinking that I would never stretch out on a couch and take up all the space so that I could sleep.  I would never have been on the phone to the point where everyone in the waiting room could hear my conversation, nor would I continue to talk about pictures on my phone to one of my kids who had no interest. But, here lies the difference between what I do as compared to what others do.

What I do to remain calm, serene and keep busy is right for me. I choose to be quiet.  I might watch the TV that is playing in the room.  If I need to make a call, I will step outside. I don’t want to disturb others nor allow them to be privy to my phone conversation. I will work on my computer, but I will not take up several outlets to charge up all my electronic devices as I’ve seen others do. I am thoughtful, or at least I think I am. Even though I don’t necessarily agree with other peoples methods of how they spend their time in a hospital, I understand that in the end, we are all there for the same goal.

So, think about this: The next time,  you feel yourself becoming quick to judge before having all of the facts, consider doing like I did in that hospital lobby. Sit. Wait. Observe and be patient. Let the person go through the process the same way you are assessing the situation in your head.

Remember, patience is an art.  We may not all be Picasso’s but we all have the skills to start practicing the art of patience without being quick to judge.

It Just Wasn’t What You Thought …

Have you ever wished for something so badly and then when you  finally  got it,  it wasn’t at all what you thought it would be ?

The reality of this happens to many of us during  different  stages in our life.  The trade-off from entrepreneurship to employee is one of the hardest decisions that a business owner can make. Graduating from college and  discovering that the degree you received has not helped you  excel in your career can make you feel like you are going in reverse .  You can feel more frustrated when the  area of work you are in has nothing to do with your major.  Want to get married and or raise a family? You see other couples together and they make it look so appealing. But when it finally happens to  you, you’re are stunned that  being a wife, mother ( and career woman) is a lot more than you ever could imagine even in your wildest of dreams!

When we were  teenagers we couldn’t  wait to become adults. When we finally did, we realized  our  responsibilities far exceeded the freedom and fun that we longed for when we finally became independent. As an adult, we look back on the mistakes we made when we were younger and  wish we knew then what we know now.  These thoughts have us convinced that  our lives would be so much easier, richer and less complicated if we had a chance to do it all over again(or so it seems).

Taking a look at other people’s lives or situations often times makes us take a look at ourselves and  make comparisons. Some may even wish they were in a different place or in a  different time.  But the truth is, no one really knows what it took for that person to get to where she or he is.  For some, if they knew the journey and the struggles that others had to endure to achieve success, many  would not want to make the same sacrifices.

The funny thing is, all of us have an opportunity to be where we want to be in our lifetime. Yes, it’s easier for some and more difficult for others. Staying focused, having  faith, doing the  work and believing in yourself is only half the battle.  The other half  is being committed to the goal,  making the necessary sacrifices, not worrying about what others say or think about you and having a realistic set of expectations  of your end-goal.  You can get there, but you have to be ready.  And when you finally do get there, ask yourself: Will you be grateful? Or will you  still be unsatisfied because what you finally  accomplished still isn’t  what you thought it would be?

All Talk and No Action

This is probably one of my personal biggest pet peeves. I’m a big believer in doing what you say you are going to do. I know that life happens and we are not always able to do things as planned. But, that’s not what I get peeved about. I’m talking about the doers vs. the do-nothings. The action-takers vs. the excuse-makers. These are the women who talk about what all they plan to do and never have a plan to actually execute on it. They talk, talk, talk and talk to the point where you just want to say, “I hear ya, but WHEN are you going to actually DO IT?”

They say:
“I’m gonna quit my job and work somewhere else.”
“I’m gonna start paying down that debt I owe.”
“I’m gonna start that business I always wanted.”
I’m gonna set aside enough money to retire early.
“I’m gonna take that vacation I’ve always wanted. ”
“I’m gonna buy that new car.”
“I’m gonna ask for a raise.”
“I’m gonna start my New Year’s Resolution.”

It’s all SOUNDS good, but Really? When are you GONNA make this happen?

There’s the rub. It’s like a 24-7 mantra.I’m gonna, I’m gonna…This typically ends with One day when I _____ (You Fill in the blank).

Okay, so now that I’ve gotten my rant out of the way. Let’s talk about our mindset. It has to change. It’s a simple two-word process. Just take the word GONNA out of your sentence and replace it with I AM. So, now the sentence reads: I AM quitting my job. I AM paying down that debt I owe. Do you see the difference? You are living in the NOW! And the more you have this type of thinking, the more you will get things accomplished. It’s like a switch going off in your brain. You are telling yourself that you are ALREADY doing it and day by day, you will. It may not be completed in a short time frame, but with the right attitude –and a plan, it will happen.

Anything can sound good, but what really counts is when it goes from just talking about making something happen to actually making it happen.

Join Working on your Now on Saturday, April 23 as we delve more into topics just like this one. Check out the details on the site.

Whose Life is it Anyway?

Recently I was reading an inspirational book that talked about how people can go on for the rest of their lives doing what others tell them to do, thinking the way others want them to think and being what someone else wants them to be. When I thought  about this, it made me really take pause and be thankful that I have never been that type of person. Pretty much, I’ve done the things in life that I have always wanted to do. Sure, I’ve made mistakes along the way. And there have been plenty of times that I wished that I might have done something different. But the reality is, I made my own  decisions and I can’t blame anyone for my wrong choices.

In this New Year of 2016 what decisions have you made to do things differently? January is almost over and I’m sure many of us have had the best intentions of starting the year off with a new attitude, new goals or just doing something we’ve never done before.  Some of us are on track and others have gotten off course before they’ve even started!

The good thing is, you can start over at anytime. It’s your choice and more importantly, it’s your life. The great thing about life is that the longer you live, the more you can evolve.  Not sure where to begin? Just start making a plan.  Write down the things you want to accomplish  and then work towards making it happen. If you need  some more guidance, check out the book Working on Your Now, a practical approach for how to get started when you don’t know where to begin.

Let me know how things are going with your decisions to do things differently this year. Connect with me at  It’s your life. Now, go live it!